DO I HAVE AN “ORPHAN SPIRIT”?
"SIGNS OF AN ORPHAN SPIRIT"
The orphan spirit is something that many people struggle with, both in the Body of Christ, as well as in the lost world that Christ died to save! When I first heard the phrase, I immediately assigned it to the absence or the lack of parental guardianship and adult care for an innocent child..
But, what has become quite clear and evident to me, after being "in church" my whole life — and "in" or around ministry for forty+ years, is ANYONE that could be attacked with this satanically influenced "weight" of accusations, lies, and poison that intends to:
- Keep "believers" from EVER realizing their "god potential" in Christ;
- Keep "unbelievers" from EVER serving Christ, because the devil has "convinced them" that no "good God" would let something like this happen to "them".
When Adam disobeyed, and Eve was deceived in the Garden of Eden, sin entered the world. Unfortunately, that disobedience, fragmentation and brokenness, caused a violent separation (spiritual death) between God and all of humanity..
We've all heard of "separation anxiety" in the social science community. It is indeed, a real debilitating thing — and, also quite common in today's society.
Because of the myriad of voices, remedies, and pharmaceutical options that have the whole world reeling under the influence of dark powers and addictive tendencies, we're NOW at a critically important season of human history; where the infusion of poignant biblical teaching and sound doctrine, could potentially destroy the work the destroyer and eradicate the demonic influences in the hearts of men.
When a little baby or toddler is "separated from its parents", it oftentimes experiences great fear and deep emotional scars that creates an irreparable breach — without the Lord's supernatural power available to "heal".
This is actually a normal reaction to the traumatic incidences we have all encountered in childhood; which in turn, negatively marks the life . And, the ability to discern that there are scars, allows this to be more than an indication of "broken places" existing.
It also serves as a common indicator when addressing "the breaches" becomes priority during the continuum of all of our developmental transitions; when those who should have been our protectors, were never there to protect us in the most vulnerable seasons of our lives.
What does an orphan spirit look like?
"A type of demonically-inspired influence and lack of paternal/maternal support that invades a person's heart and mind, because of "it" being unrenewed and without foundational biblical truth; therefore, their perception is severely wounded — causing a sense of abandonment, loneliness, alienation, and isolation that will NOT be "healed", without God's Holy Word and the Precious Holy Spirit bringing complete transformation and total restoration to bare for anyone who "believes".
The "orphan spirit" often attaches itself to anyone who has experienced extreme and prolonged rejection in his or her life. A person operating out of an orphan spirit, all too often overcompensates from deep feelings and thoughts of inferiority, insecurity, and indifference, by simply being performance driven, over-competitive, and "works" dependent in almost every relationship; as they (the person) struggles with low self-worth and low self esteem; and, find it very difficult to maintain "healthy relationships."
Sadly, christians deal with these issues for many years of our lives, and we don't even realize that we are struggling or stuck. But, when you and I recognize that something is wrong; yet we can't put our finger on "what it is", Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I operate out of insecurity?
- Am I jealous of others successes?
- Do I serve God to earn His love?
- Do I self-medicate by pulling deeply inward?
- Do I struggle with self-worth?
- Do I fill the void by working constantly, through physical gratification, or with narcissistic behavior and/or self-indulgence?
- Am I driven by the need to succeed?
- Do I use people to accomplish my goals?
- Do I repel my biological or spiritual children?
- Do I struggle with anger or fits of rage?
- Am I always in competition with others?
- Do I lack self-esteem?
- Do I receive my identity from material possessions, physical appearance, or activities?
If you've answered yes to several of these, it's safe to say that maybe there is a heart issue that is deeply in need of healing.
Characteristics:
1. They are hyper-sensitive.
Those with an orphan spirit walk around with a spirit of rejection. Hence, they are hyper-sensitive and have an unconscious assumption that people are against them. Consequently, they are easily offended and overreact to minor infractions and or experience continual misunderstandings when inter-facing with others.
2. They don't know how to be a spiritual parent.
Pastors and all mature leaders in the body of Christ should first and foremost function as spiritual fathers that can nurture younger believers (1 John 2:12-14). When new people come into the church, they intuitively yearn for spiritual parents who will care for them. Many people are hurt because there is no opportunity presented to them in the church for personal nurture and development. First and foremost, the body of Christ needs their leaders to function as spiritual parents, secondarily preachers and leaders.
3. They are always in competition with other leaders.
Those with an orphan spirit have never been affirmed by a father. Thus, they are always striving to prove themselves to others. Consequently, in their striving, they find themselves in competition with other gifted leaders (including peers not within their organization).
4. They are driven by a search for significance.
Due to the lack of affirmation from a father growing up, those with an orphan spirit are constantly striving to succeed. Hence, they rarely rest but are on a quest to elevate themselves among others so they can feel good about themselves. Orphan spirit leaders are driven more by personal ambition than by the Holy Spirit. Hence, it can leave much destruction in their wake as their ambition rather than the Holy Spirit is motivating and directing their work.
5. They don't know how to emotionally connect.
Orphan-spirit leaders may be very capable at dispensing tasks out to their followers but may by handicapped when it comes to emotional intelligence. Affirmed sons are better able to connect emotionally with other people since they have already experienced (and developed) an intimate relationship with both their heavenly and spiritual father.
6. They do not feel good about themselves.
I have observed that even highly accomplished leaders may have low self-esteem. They desperately try to compensate for this self-disdain by their achievements. Some of the most successful people I have ever met were laden with self-hatred. All this is hidden behind looking good physically with a great public persona, but the self-hatred comes out in one or more of the traits mentioned in this article.
7. They do not know how to treat others.
Leaders with an orphan spirit often mistreat and or abuse those under their leadership. This comes out sometimes because of the deep subconscious resentment and anger (from being abandoned by their father) embedded in their souls.
8. They do not interpret reality correctly.
I have found that those who carry an orphan spirit interpret everything through the lenses of their abandonment, rejection and disappointment. Consequently, they interpret reality differently than other people which causes others they hurt to think these leaders are either liars or delusional.
9. They objectify people to obtain their goals.
Leaders with an orphan spirit often use people for their own agenda rather than viewing their leadership assignment as a way to love and empower others.
10. They are always looking for approval and recognition.
Those with an orphan spirit have a huge void in their heart that only God can fill. Until and or unless they allow the Lord to heal their woundedness, they will live life seeking the approval of others. Their pain is so great they look for temporary (superficial) relief by getting people to notice them so they can receive their accolades.
11. They do not know how to submit to spiritual authority.
Those with an orphan spirit have a very difficult time understanding how to be a son to another father. Hence, they have a difficult time trusting anyone enough to receive correction and truly submit to authority and spiritual leadership. I have found that most "lone rangers" are really people with an orphan spirit.
12. They have a difficult time with their own family.
Those with an orphan spirit are so driven they often do not keep boundaries. Consequently, they do not know how to relax and spend quality time with their family. Work and accomplishment are always at the center of their life. Also, because they have never been fathered, they do not understand how to be a parent and emotionally connect to their biological and spiritual children. These two issues cause great friction between spouses as well as the alienation of children.
13. They have a difficult time relating to God as their Father.
Those with an orphan spirit either view God as a harsh taskmaster or as a distant father who cannot be fully trusted. This is because when they were growing up, they experienced abandonment from an authority figure and they transferred this view into their relationship with God. They need to have a spiritual experience with God that permeates their souls and revolutionizes their view of Father God. Also, they need spiritual fathers in their lives who will represent God to them and restore their souls.
Look to the Word of God…
Here are several scriptures that we recommend as you continue to work through 'battling in the opposite spirit,' the spirit of adoption:
"There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health."—Proverbs 12:18
"Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!"—James 3:5
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."—James 1:17
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."—Philippians 4:6
"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God."—Romans 8:26-27
"And He said, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'"—Exodus 33:14
"Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established."—Proverbs 16:3
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."—Jeremiah 29:11
"For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints."—1 Corinthians 14:33
"But as it is written: 'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.'"—1 Corinthians 2:9
"You will also declare a thing, and it will be established for you; so light will shine on your ways."—Job 22:28
"But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there."—James 3:14-16
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."—Philippians 2:3
"For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise."—Hebrews 10:36
When we are operating in the spirit of adoption…
- We are secure
- We celebrate the accomplishments of others
- We experience acceptance
- We fill emotional voids with intimate time with the Father
- We allow the Spirit to lead us into our calling
- We serve others and provide opportunities for them to grow in their own destiny in Christ
- We don't use anger or other forms of manipulation to get our way
- We bless others around us, freely sharing the Father's love with others
- We love ourselves and exhibit healthy self-esteem
- We are grounded in our identity in Christ
In conclusion, nobody has been fully healed emotionally this side of heaven. Every leader (including me) has deep emotional issues and needs continual transformation by God. Hence, there are no perfect marriages, children and leaders—and no perfect churches or organizations.
May the Lord use teachings like this to open our eyes, help us be self-aware and look for Him to bring people, situations and His word to conform our heart, mind and soul into the image of Jesus, the only perfect Son of the Father.>END OF STUDY
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